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DOES ANYONE WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD?

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DOES ANYONE WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD?

The problem of social organization is how to set up an arrangement under which greed will do the least harm, capitalism is that kind of a system.

Milton Friedman


As I write the following abandoned words, dreams, visions imagination, hope and far-sightedness, the United Kingdom’s General Election is just eight days away. Yet it is an epic battle with no real Generals, planned and run by disingenuous political leprechauns, fought by lemmings. Its true infantry are not the thousands of paid-up party members and their ranting spin doctors. The true infantry are us, the people, yet we have confined ourselves to barracks. Why? Because we’re tired, exhausted by a century of false starts and bad endings. Modern politics is like a rudderless ocean liner, adrift in a sea of instantly disposable ideas, where the galley boy has usurped the Captain.


   Sure, there are some decent people taking part. Nicola Sturgeon of the SNP has made the best of the failed Scottish independence ballot with verve, clarity and youthful energy. The Greens and the Welsh Nationalists have good hearts. There’s even a TUC/Socialist Alliance who speak common sense, yet they stand a snowball’s chance in hell of making headway. So why are we stuck in this sluggish morass?
The answer is, there are no politicians of vision, no-one who wants to truly change the world, no-one to offer true inspiration with the courage  it takes to bulldoze the accumulated detritus of a hundred years aside and start again.
When we look at lists of those people who have truly changed the world in the past, for better or, in many cases, for worse, we see characters driven by an intense sense of vision. Martin Luther King, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Thomas Paine, Lenin, Keir Hardie, Trotsky, and loathe though I am to say it, Thatcher, Gorbachov and yes, even Hitler. They inspired those around them by laying the world out on the table like a basket of over-ripe fruit and pointing out which items to dispose of. They had new ideas, yet they braved a tsunami of opposition which they defied with sheer passion and determination. Some, like Mao, Stalin and Hitler, became hideously drunk with success and paid history’s price. Others were divisive, like Thatcher, whose grocer mentality and parochial sense of greed have left a split legacy of hate and adoration. Yet all of these people had looked at their contemporary world, didn’t like what they saw, and crafted a form of politics which the masses recognised as something new; something to change the scene and make history.
So what is politics today, in Britain? It has become a series of soundbites played on an eternal loop. When all else fails, blame ‘the previous government’. Its practitioners no longer physically resemble ‘the man in the street’. As the semi-official 51st state of the USA, our political leaders ascend to their heights by their image. Clean-cut, Savile Row suited, 30-something Metropolitans, in the main, university educated, and in many cases, ex-Public School.  There are few members of Parliament in the 21st century who have ever done any of those jobs they ‘pretend’ to do for those hard-hat, hi-vis vest factory visit photo opportunities. Getting one’s hands dirty? That’s the gardener’s job, or the nanny’s.
This is no longer ‘show business for ugly people’. In a country which is really run by billionaire and millionaire press barons and bankers, one needs ‘the look’ to achieve that opportunistic perch between your Masters and the great unwashed. If today’s parties put forward a potential visual front bench of Clement Attlee, Lloyd George, Winston Churchill or Aneurin Bevan, the City’s media fashionistas would machine-gun them down to a man.



'Unfashionable' Michael Foot with some uncomfortable company
 Perhaps Labour leader Michael Foot’s donkey jacket put paid to any notion of proletarian imagery, although having two kitchens is ‘out’ and the ability to eat a bacon sandwich is ‘in’.
Today, Miliband, Clegg and Cameron attempt to convince us they mean business (ultimately what they’re in it for, anyway) by removing jackets, loosening ties and rolling up shirt sleeves. Ah, look at that - these blokes are getting down with the workers; let’s stand around in an ordered semi-circle and listen - it’s almost like an extra tea break.

What the Conservative Party stands for is what it has always stood for: money. The word ‘conservative’ means traditional, conventional, conformist, and unadventurous. These are the cornerstones of hanging on to wealth and privilege, hidden behind their steady exhortations to ‘hard working tax payers / families’. Yet do any of us ever ask - is it not just enough to be a worker - does everything we do need to be prefixed by the word ‘hard’? Some Tories like to regard themselves as ‘One Nation’ conservatives. This meaningless catch-all offers the misty image of us all being ‘in this together’, the ‘Big Society’. In other words, you lot keep working hard, we’ll pocket the profits and every five years we’ll roll our sleeves up again and tell a few more lies. Cameron told pupils at one of his new, pet ‘academy’ projects 

              “At Eton, my favourite teacher had a block of wood on his desk and if he caught you napping he would throw this block of wood at your head. Health and safety means you can’t do this anymore!” 
No, Dave. What you and Iain Duncan Smith do now is throw lethal blocks at anyone in need of compassion or a safety net. By definition, this greedy gang certainly don’t want to change their world. They like it just the way it is, with a few extra bonuses thrown in.

The Liberal Democratscome across as a gathering of spineless u-turning cowards, always the bridesmaids, never the bride. Clegg and Cable and the rest of that wishy-washy amber brigade, bereft of any real power, breathe in the heady fiscal ozone from their City masters’  slipstream and belch in our faces uttering vacuities about ‘balance of power’ and being ‘a brake on extremism’. Yet they are Tories too, albeit cardboard and string puppet versions. When many of them did speak out in Westminster against Andrew Lansley’s sinister 2012 Health and Social Care Act, Clegg made sure they voted in favour. Mustn’t upset ‘call me Dave’. The Lib Dem’s most dubious asset in that expensive hall of geriatrics, the House of Lords, Shirley Williams (another deserter from her original faith), who had criticised the bill at every stage, toed the coward’s line and voted for it. Why? The Global Corporate World must be obeyed.

And there’s The Labour Party. No longer ‘New’. A party which, in its current manifestation, disgraces the very noun, ‘Labour’ which means ‘those who contribute by toil to production’ ‘the people, class, or workers involved in physical toil done for wages’. There might be the odd ex-miner or postman in the ranks, but the rest? Balls, Mandelson, Straw, the few remaining hangers-on from ‘Blair’s Babes’? What do they know about ‘physical toil’? When did they last tread the aisles of Aldi or Lidl for something they could afford from their decimated benefits?
On October 4 1994 Labour’s new Washington puppet, materialistic war-monger, friend of violent dictators, Tony Blair, drew back his regal purple curtain to reveal his intended reversal of everything the Labour Party had believed in back in 1918. Soon, he’d done the City’s bidding by abandoning Clause 4 of the constitution: Until Blair ditched it, the party’s aim was laid out thus:

“To secure for the workers by hand or by brain the full fruits of their industry and the most equitable distribution thereof that may be possible upon the basis of the common ownership of the means of production, distribution and exchange and the best obtainable system of popular administration and control of each industry or service.”   

What this renunciation of principle achieved was exactly what Thatcher hungered for: a complete reversal of each and every one those aims. ‘People’ now had a different spelling; ‘Profit’.  Ed Miliband likes to bang on about the party’s noble founder. 
The young Keir Hardie
James Keir Hardie was the illegitimate son of a servant, his father a ship’s carpenter. At the age of nine he worked a 12 hour day as a baker’s delivery boy for 3 shillings and sixpence per week. (That’s just under 20p.) He became a coal miner at the age of eleven. Has much changed since his ‘Sunshine of Socialism’ speech of April 11 1914, when he said of the struggle to launch the party:

“I may recall the fact that in those days, and for many years thereafter, it was tenaciously upheld by the public authorities, here and elsewhere, that it was an offence against laws of nature and ruinous to the State for public authorities to provide food for starving children, or independent aid for the aged poor. Even safety regulations in mines and factories were taboo. They interfered with the ‘freedom of the individual’. As for such proposals as an eight-hour day, a minimum wage, the right to work, and municipal houses, any serious mention of such classed a man as a fool.”  

Ah, yes. The ‘individual’. You knew all about that, eh, Maggie?
Keir Hardie at the end
of his days
None of these people want to change the world because they are frightened by the looming shadows of Canary Wharf and Wall Street. They want to retain the current status quo, but with added levels of punitive severity. They know full well that any notion of revolutionary change can be controlled through the very medium I am now using to offload my bitter disappointment. There may be many more of ‘us’ than there are ‘them’, but it’s ‘them’ who hold all the cards. The corporate suits posing as politicians today, insulated from reality by the Express, Daily Mail, The Sun and Telegraph, could never be scared by Lenin’s words:

“We want to achieve a new and better order of society: in this new and better society there must be neither rich nor poor; all will have to work. Not a handful of rich people, but all the working people must enjoy the fruits of their common labour. Machines and other improvements must serve to ease the work of all and not to enable a few to grow rich at the expense of millions and tens of millions of people. This new and better society is called socialist society.”



At 72, I am in the final years of my life yet as a young man, full of active hope, I could never have imagined that half a century on, I would sing such a tragic swansong as this. Undoubtedly, Britain is, compared to the rest of the globe, still a fine place to live. Yet the misery, war and poverty which girdles the earth has the same root cause; greed. There are  no more Castros, Che Guevara is a T-shirt, and Paine’s Rights of Man will be crushed by the tanks of Global Capitalism. 
Thomas Paine

All that is left to my generation is a fading sense of gratitude for the Great Landslide of 1945, the beleaguered NHS, pensions, rock and roll and the odd continental holiday. The first three decades of my life seemed to offer hope. The last four have been a downhill ride in a hideous time-machine. After May 7 2015, that time machine could be programmed to take us back to the privation of 1935. Make no mistake; that’s what the Eton boys want, because in their view, the poor, the disabled, the unemployed,  have only themselves to blame. Yet one thing will remain constant: greed will continue to make our world even uglier tomorrow than it is today.

Ben E. King: An Appreciation

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l9wuTOedklo

Thank you, Ben E. King. And Leiber and Stoller. And Atlantic Records for putting that insistent Tympani and strings on this superbly romantic and insistent recording. On The Horizon; I was sixteen, barely a few weeks into my career as a merchant sailor, when one night in 1959 in the wet darkness I tuned in my little transistor on a rainy Hull dock side, and everything about this simple record seemed to sum up my life. And it still does. Mysterious, fabulous imagery, and a voice as warm and rich as a Georgia sunset. RIP, Ben, and I’m looking forward to seeing you in the heavenly choir. 
  
On the horizon out where the ocean greets the sky
On the horizon I saw a ship go sailing by
This was the ship that I'd often dreamed of
A ship made of gold with a golden sail above

This was the ship that I dreamed would someday bring my love
On the horizon out where the lonely seagulls cry
On the horizon my ship of dreams came sailing by
Sailing to me with this cargo so rare
It kept comin' closer and closer I swear
Closer and closer 'til I woke up and found you there

Oh, on the horizon, the horizon, the horizon




Ben E King On the horizon

The Deadly Election: Who Goes There?

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LEMMINGS ON THE CLIFFS

The choice is … no choice. In three days the United Kingdom (and despite all the Murdoch and Cameron Sturgeonesque scaremongering, that’s still what it is) goes to the polls. Yet who goes there? A battered, confused and cowed electorate, labouring under the burden of five years of austerity. An electorate that knows full well the nature of the new Dark Age of inequality the Coalition has inflicted upon us. An electorate which should have been listening, digesting the arguments,  rising in their millions to protect the NHS, sifting through the lies and hastily invented ‘statistics’. 


However, it’s a fair guess that the GB Public prefers its attention to be diverted by The Voice, Strictly Come Dancing, Britain’s Got Talent and Celebrity Bake-Off.  An electorate which still buys The Sunand the Daily Mail in their millions, believing every foul lie printed. The fact that their apparent inertia has led to a perilous stalemate in the opinion polls is of no interest. Change is not on the agenda. Progress is not on the agenda. Common sense and compassion have been blow-torched away by the City-financed corporate propaganda mill.
The peasants (as the Lords of Westminster still see us) have had their Masters’ beliefs rammed down their throats until they choke in obedient acceptance. Food banks? From a few dozen throughout the country in 2010 to over 1,000 today - and Cameron interprets this as an example of his original notion of ‘The Big Society’. Food banks, he imagines, are the positive result of his determination to remove the safety net of the Welfare State - look - people can care for themselves without benefits! Wonderful! 



Iain Duncan Smith, the Nabob of Nastiness,  says of food banks that their users are “People with dysfunctional  lives, caught in drug addiction and family breakdown.”  Conservative Peer, Baroness Anne Jenkin of Kennington, whose well-fed derriere graces the red benches for £300 per day, concludes that food bank users are simply “Poor people who do not know how to cook”. 
Baroness Jenkin of Kennington

Maybe she could give them some lessons. 

Champion Ex-Education-wrecker Michael Gove thinks they are “Not best able to  manage their finances” whilst a voice from the smelly depths of the Tory gutter, Edwina ‘Lady Salmonella’ Currie, pulls no punches - poor people who use food banks “Waste their money on tattoos and dog food.” Pour all this verbal slurry into a bucket and there we see, and smell, the essence of Tory thought. This alone, any rational person might think, would be enough to see that beleaguered poor and increasingly dispossessed mount a campaign of rage beyond the Medieval punishment of the Bedroom Tax, to take to the streets and man the barricades for change.



Edwina 'Hot' Currie: A woman who knows how to get a Prime Minister
 into bed and  scramble eggs for publicity's sake. 

So here we stand in May 2015 on the edge of a tall cliff, not even whimpering like suicidal lemmings, but prepared to take that deadly leap onto the sharp rocks of the next five years of greed, unfairness and utter inequality. We have the most ridiculous and expensive Railway system in Europe. We have a youth problem of teenagers with no interest in politics or the ballot box. We have an education system in our universities which is rapidly returning to the pre-war world of academic privilege, where only the well-heeled can afford a degree, and an education secretary, Nicky Morgan, who actively campaigns against the Arts and Philosophy, because only Business and Science studies - those which ultimately lead to the Tory Holy Grail - profit - can have any credence in a world lubricated by money. Since 1979, everything we owned collectively by us as a People has been stolen by Mammon’s Buccaneers. Our postal service, telephones, gas, electricity, water, coal. The list goes on. All this theft was not only down to Thatcher and her gang; the burglars were aided and abetted by the avaricious duplicity of people like Tony Blair and the spineless surrender to the City of Gordon Brown. Great Britain Plc is a massive corporation run by pretend politicians, eager passengers on the Westminster Gravy Train who man the benches for as few hours as possible to allow for all those other money-spinners, the Law, PR agencies, Consultancies and directorships, all of which enhance their pitiful MP’s salary, which the slimy Malcolm Rifkind says he ‘could not live on’.

And now, today, joy of joys, the greatest gift of absolute diversion has arrived - Kate Middleton has a new baby! Concentrate, ye millions, on the innocent face of  this pink newcomer, for verily, it will sweep everything else aside, and every time the spectre of enforced austerity looms, just gaze at the front page of the Express and Mail, and your life, even with food banks, will seem normal.

Will it seem ‘normal in May 2020? Will you all remember what Britain once was, what it could have been? No. We’ll be watching Embarrassing Bodies, the tenth series of Mrs. Brown’s Boys or a new version of Strictly. But Channel 4 won’t be making any more Benefits Street - because even TV can’t make a documentary about something which will have ceased to exist. Yet there’ll probably be another Royal baby - that pregnancy will already be planned, and with a little luck the birth will happen just in time for an election.

Hack Poetry

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How Dare you Write Poetry!

Shelley
I’ve written on this subject before, but today I gathered an extra follower on Twitter, and he’s a successful performance poet, so I reckoned it was time to re-examine my dilemma.

    By the literary ‘powers that be’ (in particular, in Nottinghamshire), I’ve been designated not as a proper author as such, but as a ‘Jobbing Writer’. Not time served, but the kind of literary hack equivalent to the bloke who isn’t really a plasterer, joiner or a bricklayer, yet he knows his way around the shelves at B&Q. That ‘Jobbing Writer’ tag means never being taken seriously. All the celebrated genres, literary fiction especially, are closed off.

    I’m a wordsmith who has, until recently, made a living through any commission which dropped into my inbox. Local press columns, CD and DVD sleeve notes, rock and roll tour brochures, magazine features, PR work, TV holiday show scripts, even the copy for an annual garden furniture catalogue. My mission statement? If it needs words and pays a fair fee, I’ll do it. Survival  rules. Not exactly Martin Amis then, a long way from Will Self or Ian McEwan. Sure, I’ve written novels. Two in fact, one even supported by an Arts Council Literature grant, but no-one is liable to read them. Once you stray over the well-defined border between bona fide publishing houses and the no-man’s land of self-publication, unless you’re extremely lucky, your writing career can be said to be over. You’ve exchanged what scant respect, experience and expertise it took decades to accrue to don the mantle of the irritating literary amateur.

I’m no genius, nor am I likely to be remembered for my words. Yet I often think of poor Van Gogh, never selling a painting, but soldiering on, simply because his life had become an irrepressible artistic impulse. Or Melville, whose Moby-Dickwas trashed by critics, only to be discovered for the masterpiece it is decades after his death. As this Jobbing Writer I’m not in any literary league worthy of note. So why bother to sit here 10 hours per day, even days per week, writing? In his great work Why I Write, George Orwell gave four reasons for writing:

(i)                Sheer egoism.
(ii)             Aesthetic enthusiasm.
(iii)           Historical impulse.
(iv)            Political purpose.

They’ll do for me. Only age and infirmity will stop me writing. I’m doing it right now - look! And although I’m this unsophisticated hack, in recent years I’ve rushed uninvited into the most preciously guarded enclave of them all; Poetry. I bought Stephen Fry’s The Ode Less Travelled and realised that I knew nothing about Iambic pentameter, the villanelle, sonnets, etc. etc. I thought a haiku was a Japanese kipper. As a would-be poet I realised I was out of my depth. If I took this on, I’d be as popular as a pork pie at a bar-mitzvah. Yet it doesn’t matter, because I’ve listened to poets and, shock-horror - even performed live with them. In these snippets from  Percy Bysshe Shelley’s 1821 essay, A Defence of Poetry, I managed to find some consolation and assuage my non-academic proletarian guilt.

“Poetry is the record of the best and happiest moments of the happiest and best minds.”
“Poetry, in a general sense, may be defined to be ‘the expression of the imagination': and poetry is connate with the origin of man.”
“Poetry is a mirror which makes beautiful that which is distorted.”
“Poetry is a sword of lightning, ever unsheathed, which consumes the scabbard that would contain it.”
“All high poetry is infinite; it is as the first acorn, which contained all oaks potentially.”

When my good friend, a real, award winning poet, Kevin Fegan, asked me to co-write a book of verse and prose with him, the prospect terrified me. But I did it. The result, Iron in The Blood, wasn’t (in my opinion) all that bad. Since then, I’ve produced four more volumes of poetry. 

No doubt any serious critic would tear them to shreds whilst laughing bitterly, but I don’t bloody care. Whatever emotional spark ignited the inspiration of Dylan Thomas, Shakespeare or Seamus Heaney drives me. Of course, my slim volumes were never submitted to publishers, have never been reviewed (a terrifying prospect) and the only people who have copies are family and friends. Of course, you can buy them - they’re cheap, but you’d need to contact me direct. So here’s a random sample from the Jobbing Writer’s oeuvre.

Squirrel, Fox and Mole.

Here it is,
That old midnight conceit
The old crust idling
On the outskirts of his story
He has heard the wind
And braved the heartless hurricane
Stood ankle deep
In mud and snow
He has loitered in wild daybreak
At life’s bus stops
Waiting for the time to go

Here it is,
The conveyor belt
Of disenfranchised dreams
That catalogue, fat pages
Stuffed with wasted energy
Spiced with hope and longing
Where, you just might see
(Or then, perhaps you won’t)
A man who saw alternatives
A fool so bound
To wild imagination
Like a squirrel leaping
Through the branches
Of Autumnal trees
A tribute act to crows and pigeons
Yet hoping to fly free

He was the fox who hid
Beneath the hawthorn branches
And the leaves
The covert mole, snout buried
The badger, hurting none
The bat who occupied the eaves
And these disguises, down the decades

He has relied upon.

Anyone for Inflatable Trousers?

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When our political leaders get involved in way-out ‘spirituality’, we really sit up and take note.
Cherie Blair sans pantalons
These days that paragon of political virtue, ex-UK Prime Minister Tony Blair, has long forgotten his search for mythical Weapons of Mass Destruction. The on-going disaster of Iraq has been consigned to history’s dustbin, along with the tenets of the Labour Party upon whose shoulders he rose to power. He’s allegedly making a decent jet-set living promoting peace, faith, Louis Vuitton handbags and J.P. Morgan.  But at the height of the Blairs’ prominence as international political celebs and Bush babies, they were happy to be guided by spiritual ‘style guru’ Carole Caplin. Carole’s
Bouncy Guru, Carole Caplin
good at putting important folk in touch with the right psychic practitioners. One she recommened to Cherie was Lilias Curtin. Mrs. Curtin maintains that negative feelings are contained in a 'thought field' surrounding the body and those problems are caused by negative patterns known as 'perturbations', in the 'thought field'. You can cure these, says Mrs Curtin, by tapping on certain points on the body in a specific sequence:
            ‘By tapping on the correct meridian points in the right order the perturbations are subsumed and the negative emotion disappears,’ she says. Mrs Curtin also offers electronic gem therapy. This is a routine where a light is shone through a gemstone onto ailing parts of the body.Also on the menu is magnet therapy, which 'helps dislodge toxins' by applying magnets to the body. If none of this works, Mrs. Curtin’s clinic provides aqua detox therapy, a type of foot spa which claims to flush out toxins. One might not imagine that a talented entertainer, an impressionist known for his acute satire of everything surrounding the UK government, Rory Bremner, would get sucked into all this, yet he reportedly bought one of the foot spas for £1,800.
 Mrs Curtin, who lives in Fulham with her lawyer husband Richard and two sons, also offers 'voice technology thought field therapy'. So, as Britain’s National Health Service is doomed to plummet headlong into the private American model, it’s good to know we have alternatives available.

In an article entitled The Weird World of Cherie in theDaily Mail in 2002, Lynda Lee-Potter described Cherie Blair as   ‘gullible, bordering on the cranky when it comes to alternative medicine, homeopathy, gurus and the power of crystals and rocks’. We learned that she also had an alleged dependence on ‘Sylvia’, a Dorking-based medium. As Shakespeare asked, ‘Who is Sylvia – what is she?’, in this case, she’s Carole Caplin’s mother. Sylvia was a very ‘spiritual’ woman. She referred to some of the sessions she and Carol gave as a ‘Pamper’. An ‘Ayurvedic doctor’ had once presented Sylvia with a special questionnaire. When a new client arrived, this was used to investigate all aspects of their lives – diet, work, sexual proclivities. Or, as she told the Daily Telegraph, ‘everything, from bowels to bereavement.’
According to another revealing piece by Jamie Doward and Ben Whitford, published in The Observer on September 21, 2003, the glamorous ex-model Carole learned her highly persuasive trade in the 1980s working for London-based Programmes Ltd, a secretive telemarketing company which ‘sought to dominate every aspect of its employees' lives as it transformed them into powerfully persuasive communicators who would be capable of selling anything to anyone.’       The company appears to have had all the hallmarks of a brainwashing cult. It even established its own school for employees’ children, buying up any available property in the vicinity of its offices. Programmes Ltd. soon promoted Caplin to Supervisor, and she bought a company flat. If you had the guts to stick it out for more than a year with Programmes Ltd., you were given the privilege of being sent onto  the 'Exegesis course', described by The Observer as ‘a quasi-psychotherapy programme designed to 're-birth' participants by encouraging them to face up to their inner fears. Its fundamental message was that devotees had to tell the truth at all times, no matter how painful this could be.’
Exegesis was run by a former actor and son of a meat salesman, Robert Fuller, who changed his name to the more sophisticated ‘D'Aubigny’. Also on board were record producer Tony Visconti’s girlfriend Kim Coe. The Exegesis course had a peculiar element of instruction known as 'raising the confront' where attendees were taught argumentative voice techniques and ordered to say what they hated about each other. Staff at Programmes Ltd. were instructed never to talk about Exegesis or mention its leader, D’Aubigny/Fuller.
As the boss of Exegesis, Fuller deeply impressed many course pupils with his forceful personality. Some likened his leadership charisma to that of someone like Richard Branson. The multi-million selling musician of Tubular Bells fame, Mike Oldfield was on the course. The induction period was four days of screaming aloud your worst memories. You were expected to unearth and reveal your ‘demons’ and bring them out into the open. Mike Oldfield said;   
'I was hyper-ventilating and I confronted my panic and found out where it came from. I turned into a new-born infant. The memory of that second birth was still there, deep inside my subconscious. I could feel the newness of the air on my skin, on my fingers and on my hair.' However, he later added; 'It made you very insecure and it made you focus on whatever it was that was bothering you deeply in your subconscious. It sort of pushed you, like doing psychotherapy in three days.'
What happened after the ‘second level’ of the course is not something ex-members talk about, although there were the usual media allegations involving mind games and even group sex.
By the mid-80s the hard core who had benefitted from Exegesis training formed the core of a highly focused telemarketing team who could sell just about anything, and they had some big clients, Vodafone among them. The success of Programmes Ltd. was greatly enhanced by its industrious subsidiary agency, the Exhibitionists. There was a particular employment condition if you wanted to be an Exhibitionist. You needed to be a very attractive female. And the majority were ex-models, specifically trained to cajole company directors into placing their telemarketing with Programmes Ltd.. Pearl Read, a close friend of Carole Caplin, ran the Exhibitionists. At one time she’d been married to one of London’s leading prostitution bosses, a rival to the notorious Kray twins, Joe Wilkins. Like the Krays, he was one of those ‘good old boy’ East End gangsters who was lucky enough in 1976 to be given a conditional discharge after he was collared for helping to run a vice racket. Pearl Read, however, staunchly denied that the Exhibitionists had anything to do with prostitution. However, the Exegesis-trained lovely lady Exhibitionists, by 1985, had managed to swell Programmes Ltd., establishing the capability to make 10,000 sales calls a day, into the UK’s biggest telemarketing business. Not bad when you realise that their 1981 turnover was a mere £21,000, and by 1990 it was a whopping £6.5 million.
The shareholders loved it, especially the biggest, Tory MP for Hastings Kenneth Warren, whose day job was parliamentary private secretary to Keith Joseph, Margaret Thatcher's mentor.
But cults attract critics and questions were asked in Parliament. David Mellor, then a Home Office minister, condemned the organisation as ‘puerile, dangerous and profoundly wrong’ and it was investigated by the police (although no charges were ever brought). Soon Programmes Ltd. was no more, but it’s still around as the hugely successful telemarketing business, Merchants Group.
Exegesis exploded into a range of various other outfits, whilst Monsieur  D'Aubigny joined forces with Visconti to form their own record company.
We’re used to the idea of cults being religious-based bodies, and those who escape them usually have very little positive to say about their experience. However, Exegesis was the ideal cult for 80s Yuppies. Those who were in it, seem by all accounts to have nothing but happy memories; it was all about sell, sell, sell, and ultimately making money, a movement which seems like the foundation of everything which gets up our noses today, with ‘greed is good’ at the top of the list.
Carole Caplin, brimming with all the positive vibes of the curvaceous Exhibitionists, formed her own New Age companies. Among them was Holistix, devising psychic-styled health and well-being exercises for very wealthy clients, who would later include the UK’s First Lady, Cherie Blair.

Caplin penned number of health and well-being books, appeared on TV, with her own Channel 4 show, The Carole CaplinTreatment. According to the press, she was responsible for introducing the Blairs to a range of ‘spiritual’ beliefs. To get close to a Prime Minister one needs to be particularly skilled in the art of persuasion, but before long, she found herself on holiday in Mexico with the Blairs in 2001. Wearing their swimming costumes, they all gathered in a steam bath and took part in a‘re-birthing’ procedure involving smearing mud and fruit over each other’s bodies. Of course, everyone in Britain realises that papers like the Daily Mail have little good to say about politicians who don’t fit their political remit, but in addition to all the crystals and aroma therapy, with Sylvia’s contact with the spirit world, the all-in-the-tub-together detox bath scrubs, it would be a shame to leave the Blairs without mentioning this snippet from Paul Scott at the Mail on Linedated May 16th 2008, when Cherie was on tour promoting her autobiography:


The Strange Case of The Inflatable Trousers:

‘While in Downing Street, Mrs Blair became a regular visitor to the Mayfair-based therapist Bharti Vyas. Mrs Vyas, who has no recognised medical qualifications, recommended to Cherie the wearing of ‘flowtron leggings’ to improve her wellbeing. Once a month, and helped by Mrs Vyas, Cherie would climb into the vibrating pants, which resemble a huge pair of inflatable wetsuit bottoms, which were then filled with compressed air then deflated at 30-second intervals.’

‘Another unorthodox procedure which Mrs Blair was persuaded to undergo by Vyas was a £35-a-session process called Magnetic Resonance Therapy. Mrs Vyas, a self-styled ‘world-renowned holistic therapist’, fitted Cherie with special goggles which showed a series of kaleidoscopic colours. She was also given headphones from which came a procession of strange, rhythmic noises. Barrister and Judge Cherie was then asked to lie down on a mattress containing a network of magnetic coils. These, according to Vyas, were supposed to ‘rebalance the magnetic field’ in her body, while the ‘alpha waves’ from the goggles were meant to relax her brain. Surprise, surprise, neither strange therapy merits inclusion in Cherie's memoirs.’
Such are the people who judge us, control and seek to shape our lives. I rest my case, m’Lud.
Maggie's Magic Guru

Iron Lady Margaret Thatcher, who was to the world of the spirit what Orson
Welles was to hang-gliding, could hardly be associated with such New Age malarkey, yet it transpires she held secret meetings with an Indian mystic soon after she became leader of the Tory opposition.
She conversed with Sri Chandraswamy, a self-declared faith healer and preacher who claimed to be able to ‘cast spells’, in 1975 in her Commons office, where the mystic arrived wearing beads around his neck, an orange shawl and carrying a Gandalf-style staff. This was all revealed by former Indian Foreign Minister Shri Natwar Singh, who was present when these liaisons took place. Apparently the powerful bearded guru so impressed the Meryl Streep lookalike  that she approved a second meeting, wherein she agreed to a couple of his odder requests. One was to wear a shabby amulet he had given her around her wrist and don a special red dress.
           
Sri Chandraswamy
Apparently the great guru predicted that she would become Prime Minister and that she would remain in power for over a decade. Of course, Chandraswamy was not your bargain-basement mystic. You need to have top-drawer status to attract clients including the Sultan of Brunei, Nancy Reagan, Elizabeth Taylor, and businessmen such as Adnan Khashoggi, whose spirituality encompasses that compassionate branch of commerce, international arms dealing.
Surprisingly, clad in crimson and wearing her talisman, Maggie turned up for her second meeting. The guru presented Mrs Thatcher with five strips of paper, asking her to write a question on each, with Mr Singh’s help as translator. According to Singh, she displayed 'scarcely camouflaged irritation’ when Chandrsaswamy closed his eyes and went into a trance. When he came round, prior to unfolding the rolled up strips, he accurately revealed each question she had written.
‘Irritation gave way to subdued curiosity,’ says Mr Singh. ‘By the fourth question, I thought, she began to consider Chandraswamy a holy man indeed. Chandraswamy was like a triumphant guru and took off his slippers and sat on the sofa in the lotus position. I was appalled but Mrs Thatcher seemed to approve. She asked more questions and, in each case, Chandraswamy’s response overwhelmed her.’ But by then the sun had set, some kind of mystical omen, and the guru made his exit. The rest, as they say, is history.
 
Mrs. T with another one of her Gurus,  a famous hospital visitor.
She tried five times to get him a Knighthood, but succeeded in the end.
There are many ways of raising your spiritual game, but the great gurus plug into what they see as ‘the order of the cosmos’ with ease. So it’s hardly surprising that another movement should blossom under the banner ‘Cosmic Ordering’. In The Scotsmanon 8 April 2006, British TV viewers got the full story of how the man they thought they’d got rid of, Noel Edmonds, the father of that execrable inflated pink rubber curse of prime time Saturday TV, Mr. Blobby, had managed to shoe-horn his way back onto our screens after his wilderness years. Noel's House Party on BBC1 hit the skids in 1999, but after a variety of other lacklustre shows on various channels, Edmonds, a believer in spiritualism, was introduced by his reflexologist to the book The Cosmic Ordering Service - A Guide to Realising Your Dreams by a German woman, Barbel Mohr. 

In case you’re wondering, reflexology is an alternative ‘health’ routine involving the physical act of applying pressure to the feet, hands, or ears with specific thumb, finger, and hand techniques without the use of oil or lotion.  So inspired by Fraulein Mohr’s helpful hand in guiding him back onto our screens six nights per week with a £3 million contract, plus a £10 million dream house in Devon, Edmonds later went on to write his own book Positively Happy: Cosmic Ways to Change Your Life.

According to reports Noel enjoys occasional visits by two melon-sized ‘spiritual energy balls’. They materialise over his shoulders and he believes them to be the spirits of his dead parents. However, the orbs appear only on digital photographs. Cosmic Ordering involves writing messages ‘to the universe’ so perhaps we should all get our pens out and give it a try. It’s certainly worked for Mr. Tidybeard. Whether or not you think Cosmic Ordering is a heap of bull plop, it is no more sinister or ridiculous than many beliefs. Tom Cruise and John Travolta believe there’s an evil alien called Xenu. It hasn’t done their income any harm. Former UK MP Ruth Kelly claimed that her support of the Roman Catholic’s weird self-flagellation sect Opus Dei was in no way incompatible with her day job as Education Secretary.

Then there’s that mythical ‘special relationship’ Britain claims to have with US Presidents such as that retired master of semantics, George W. Bush. One of Dubya’s inspirations was a certain evangelical Christian aptly named Arthur Blessit. Born in 1941, Arthur’s life mission is to fulfil a Biblical prophecy by carrying the cross to every land on Earth, an on-going tour, dragging a 10ft-long cross behind him, which has kept him occupied since 1969.  You wouldn’t expect a place like Hollywood’s Sunset Strip to have an all-night ‘Christian Night Club’, but there was one, with a clientele of hookers, bikers and hippies, eager recipients of Blessit’s advice to ditch downers and acid and ‘drop a little Matthew, Mark, Luke and John’ instead. Over the past decade and a half, Arthur has impressed Mr. Bush by hauling his cross through 301 nations. Walking 36,500 miles from the Orkney Islands to the Vatican, they’ve all welcomed the indefatigable Arthur as he distributes more of his 20 million Smile, God Loves You stickers. His ultimate intention is to launch his publicity into outer space. Whether or not the cross will be included may be down to NASA, but as he only wants to launch a two-inch segment of his burden, the payload might allow it.

We may scoff. But remember, financially and materially, all these people are far, far ahead of the rest of us. That’s the way the current system is rigged. So if you want an easier life with less worry, start getting weird. Start getting ‘spiritual’. The Cosmos awaits.


Opposition's Swansong

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7.5.15: Decency Defeated


'Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law'
Aleister Crowley

In 480 BC 300 Spartans held back the massive Persian army at the Battle of Thermopylae. In the Spanish Civil War ¡No Pasarán! (They shall not pass), taken from a speech by Dolores Ibárruri, buoyed up the International Brigades against the fascists. Such historical snippets, along with raised fists and gritted teeth are supposed to assist in stirring the defeated to struggle on.
But what if your sinister enemy is so big, so rich, so aggressively organised and so beguiling to the populace that the determined courage you imagine you possess and your faith in what you believe to be a ‘good cause’ are neutered . Is it a case of ‘when in Rome’, carry on and accept defeat? Well, such certainly is the case with the UK Election of May 7 2015.
One might imagine that England’s Joe Public would see through the tardiest, cruellest and most duplicitous bunch of thugs ever posing as a government. One might imagine that the unnecessary spectre of austerity, the kind of punishment inflicted upon the disabled and disadvantaged by millionaire Eton boys, who no doubt enjoyed pulling the legs off frogs and flies, would be something the electorate wished to remove. But Britain’s soul is frayed and threadbare. The carcinogen of Thatcherism has grown into a national tumour, yet offered the cure at the ballot box, the tattooed multitude once known as ‘The People’ have opted for fear, severe pain and a slow death.
Something they also believe in the Bullingdon Club
Now, words like fairness, equality, love, sharing and compassion have become obscene expletives, vituperative expressions of a long-lost British character. May 7th 2015 has revealed a 21stcentury population mesmerized by the spectres of greed, spitefulness and lies. They have knowingly cast their votes for a sadistic fiscal gang. They have decided to sacrifice even the slightest hope of social progress in exchange for  the City’s continuing immunity; in effect, Joe Public is more than happy for the rich to become obscenely richer, for the poor to be even deprived of anything held collectively by the community. Now the green light is shining bright. Yes, you have said, take our National Health Service and send us the bill. Cut my child benefit. Increase my medieval bedroom tax, and by all draconian means, inflict new ones upon us. But please, do all these things whilst increasing your wealth. This is what we like, what we love, what we desire, because we are the creatures of the gutter and we need such paragons of abundance to remain the unreachable beacons of our chosen lives.
Those of us, fools and dreamers, who imagined the term ‘humanity’ still had currency, must now retire to our caves. There we can meditate in final silence over the shattered icons of our utterly wasted past. Our old egalitarian religion, our faith in common sense, now rests on a crumbling plateau alongside the beliefs of the Flat Earth Society and Creationism. We have been defeated, and some of us shall not rise
to fight again. So, New Britain, on your distant horizon, in a misty future, over the rotting landscape, other banners will fly. Bow down to your new triumphant Gods, and remember this dark truth from a man not far removed from the dark, trough-snuffling animals you so admire: “The victor will never be asked if he told the truth.”    



The End of it All

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DOWNFALL May 8 2015



Crow now, loud ravens of greed
Drink deep from victory’s cup
Voracious in your triumph
You have raped the maid of moderation
Maintained the idol of your meanness
Upon its pedestal of despair.


Sing Waltzing Matilda,
Lord of Mammon’s media flies,
Antipodean octopus,
Tarantula of trash and lies.
And you, Albion’s deluded,
You, inked and inert nation,
Masochistic masses,


Look away in shame at what you’ve done
Think of all you have surrendered

Yet shed no tears now hope is gone.

Japanese Medical Advice

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RISING MEDICAL SON ...

No, I didn't write this, but it certainly made me smile. As someone who struggles with a weight problem day in, day out, I can't totally agree with everything said in this web-based piece, and the Japanese doctor's name eludes me. But I had to laugh. 

Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up!
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU NOT LISTENING! Food fried in vegetable oil. How getting more vegetable be bad?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: You crazy?!? HEL-LO-O!! Cocoa bean! Another vegetable! It best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is shape!
Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
And remember:
Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!"
AND......
For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies.
1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits.
CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

WISE WORDS FROM A FINE MAN

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Often, as a writer, you can start the day feeling down, crestfallen and defeated. That's when you need to trawl through literary history to give yourself a transfusion of inspiration. I particularly love American writers; Thoreau, Melville, Whitman and others, but Mark Twain always hits the spot. The following arrived in my mailbox today from the excellent Mint News web site. I love it; it's raised my spirits. 

“Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”



Mark Twain is one of the most loved authors in the United States. His wit and sarcasm proved that his words were timeless pieces of the American experience. He’s an American icon. He was also a thought criminal. Twain was born in 1835, not too far from where Ferguson, Missouri currently sits. Had he lived in his hometown today, he would have been on the frontlines of the battle against the government“If you don’t read the newspaper, you’re uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you’re mis-informed.”
Today most of us know that most newspapers and television programs contain little, if any, accurate information.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.”

Consensus for the sake of agreement has led to the worst tragedies the world has ever known.

“If voting made any difference they wouldn’t let us do it.”

The consistent cynic, Twain was quick to tell his contemporaries that the American political system was a joke.

“The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.”

Twain stressed education in much of his writing, but he also viewed education as something that occurred outside of the classroom and often was brutal in his condemnation of formal education.

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”
“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

Two separate quotes demonstrate Twain’s disdain for people who choose to bury their heads in the sand and accept facts presented by authorities.

“If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”

Twain wasn’t exactly a believer in man’s positive nature. He expected the powerful to subjugate the weak. The difference between Twain and his contemporaries is that he didn’t approve of the practice.

 “God created war so that Americans would learn geography.”

There are several instances of Twain mocking the ignorance of the American citizen and how easily they are led astray by their government.

“Loyalty to country always. Loyalty to government, when it deserves it.”

He was fiercely protective of the American experiment, but only of the people. His perception of the government was that of a realist who saw a power hungry profession inhabited by power hungry people who made their livings by taking from the poor.

“The government is merely a servant―merely a temporary servant; it cannot be its prerogative to determine what is right and what is wrong, and decide who is a patriot and who isn’t. Its function is to obey orders, not originate them.”


Twain’s belief was clearly that the government was a child of the people. It derived its power from the people and should concern itself with bettering the lives of its people.

Music Laid Bare

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A STINKED-UP, DIRTY BUSINESS; BUT A LOT OF FUN (and a great read ...)

Last night I finished reading Simon Napier Bell's epic history of the music business, and rarely have I enjoyed a book as much as this. I've worked in this business, and I'm still working on the periphery, so it was satisfying to have most of my suspicions about the way the record companies were really managed totally vindicated. When I worked for Polydor and Deutsche Grammophon in the 1970s we were at the zenith of the age of vinyl, and our bosses in the industry were like 18th century pirates and buccaneers. Today there seems to be just one big piratical admiral left standing - Simon Cowell. I can't recommend this book enough, and rather than descibe it, here's the blurb from Amazon:

Simon Napier-Bell is a legend in the music business. Not only was he the manager of The Yardbirds, T Rex, Japan, and Wham!, and co-writer of the hit song You Don't Have to Say You Love Me but he also wrote one of the most lauded books ever written about post-war British pop music, Black Vinyl, White Powder. But Simon wasn't satisfied... He decided to tackle the whole history of the music industry, right from the beginning; from 1713 when the British parliament gave writers the right of ownership in what they wrote, until to today, when the worldwide industry is worth 100 billion pounds and is entirely owned by the Russians, French and Japanese. And it's brilliant. Bursting with memorable anecdotes and the kind of witty asides that only a real insider could make, among the many things you will learn along the way are: - How a formula for writing hit songs devised in the 1900s created over 50,000 of the best-known songs ever - Why the 'music industry' became the 'song racket', the 'singles business', and then the 'record industry'. But is now the 'music industry' again. - Why Jewish immigrants and black jazz musicians danced cheek to cheek to create the template for all popular music that followed! - How Hollywood bought the music industry in the 1930s - then suffocated it - How industry executives didn't realise till the 1950s that popular music could be sold to young people, and how they then lost their minds to the teenage market - Why rock music turned the traditional music industry on its head and never put it back upright again! - How rap, born from a DJs pleasant asides to his audience, became the music of hate and rape - and the biggest selling popular music in the world. Read Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay and you'll never listen to music the same way again.

Terry Pratchett: A Brightness Extinguished

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TERRY MEETS THAT CHARACTER: DEATH.

When a writer, artist or musician dies, another luminous avenue of creative originality suddenly ends and we are all the losers. Now another light has been extinguished; Terry Pratchett at the young age of 66. I was never particularly taken up with Terry’s literary fantasy of Discworld, but I admired him immensely for his quirky, inventive mind and, from a writer’s standpoint, his prodigious work rate. 70 books, translated into 37 languages. Now there’s a writer for you - a man grabbing his given talent by the neck and driving it along with joyful grace. I liked the way he dressed, his cheery demeanour, I was moved by the brave face he presented when faced with the grim challenge of Alzheimer’s, a cruel, cruel affliction made more bitter when it attacks an inventive artist. I never bought one of his works yet I feel diminished by his sudden absence.


    Terry’s exit, inevitably, for an agnostic, raises that perennial conundrum; if there is a God, (and my Jury left the room decades ago on this one), then what perversity he displays. He takes innocent journalists and allows them to be decapitated by his ‘servants’. He inflicts cancer on millions of innocents, lets children suffer. Is this some celestial, warped sense of humour?  Whilst corruption rages, bankers gloat over their bonuses, a simple, talented and creative man who never harmed anyone with his entertaining stories, is made to suffer and then removed from our lives. Ah, well, that’s the ‘Mercy of the Lord’ for you. So thank you, biology, for bringing Terry Pratchett into our world. If there is a heaven - I hope it’s called Discworld, because when Terry gets there, he’ll be the Great King. Thanks for being a writer, Mr. Pratchett.   

An Astronomy Anomaly: Patrick Moore the Hoaxer

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Hoaxed! 

How Patrick Moore pulled the wool
over the eyes of the UFO Community


Mention the name Lembit Öpik (left) these days, and this ex- Liberal Democrat  MP for Montgomeryshire usually conjures up an erogenous image of his dalliance with Rumanian pop tarts  the Cheeky Girls. But hang on. Lembit’s granddad was into celestial bodies of a different nature, and he’s a link, albeit a tenuous  one, in the more humorous annals of ufology. (Yes, honest, they do exist).

    Lembit’s grandfather was none other than astronomer Ernst Öpik, who left Estonia in WW2 to settle in Ireland. He was based at Armagh Observatory, where he worked with none other than the Sky at Night’smonocled, high-trousered space oddity, Patrick Moore.  In 1922, long before space probes, Ernst predicted correctly the frequency of Martian craters.
Ten years later he came up with a ground-breaking postulation that comets originated in a cloud orbiting far beyond the orbit of Pluto. Today this cloud is called the Öpik-Oort Cloud in his honour, and the asteroid 2099 Öpik is named after him. The crater Öpik on the Martian moon Phobos bears his name.
    As well as his interest in good time Rumanian girls, grandson Lembit is well known for his enthusiasm for searching for asteroids that may collide with the Earth. However, his grandfather holds another distinction. He seems to be the inspiration for a fictitious stargazer by the name of Dr. Egon Spünraas, created by Ernst’s Armagh colleague, Patrick Moore. Let the fun begin.
    In a Maida Vale bedsit one tranquil night in 1954, the 35 year old tenant was washing his dishes[i]. What happened next was enough to crack a cup and saucer, as a disembodied voice told him
     "Prepare yourself! You are to become the voice of the Interplanetary Parliament." A week later, with the bedsit’s doors locked and presumably with the pots all washed, an uninvited stranger materialised in the room. He was without a name, but known to be a ‘world famous’ swami, and he was the harbinger of a new life beyond the tea towel for the new interplanetary spokesman. Four decades later, a long way from Maida Vale, with no need of Fairy liquid, this ‘chosen one’ would be known as Sir George King, O.S.P., Ph.D., Th.D., D.D., Metropolitan Archbishop of the Aetherius Churches, Prince Grand Master of the Mystical Order of St. Peter, and HRH Prince De George King De Santori. Impressive nomenclature for a former taxi driver whose early oratorical prowess was gained by sermonizing  his passengers in the back of his cab on their lack of spirituality .
'Sir' George King, a.k.a. 'Master Aetherius'
    Fortunately, George King (1919–1997) had a head start to equip him for his inter-galactic role. He’d immersed himself in orthodox Christianity, explored spiritual healing, yoga and psychic phenomena. Apparently, the voice he’d heard that night was that of a 3,500-year-old Venusian known as ‘the Master Aetherius’.  King’s assigned mission was to tell the world to pull its socks up, make love, not war, and take better care of planet Earth. Soon, after a series of  successful speeches at London’s Caxton Hall, he had a growing army of followers. The Aetherius Society gradually became a global religion, with offices from London to Los Angeles, with its own journal, The Cosmic Voice. King would speak to his disciples whilst being ‘channelled’ by extra-terrestrial beings, known as Mars Sector 6, Jupiter Sector 92, Saint Goo-ling, and even Jesus Christ himself.  Scientific progress and the negative feedback on the inhabitable conditions on Venus, Mars and Jupiter from US and Russian  space missions could not dent Aetherian belief that these barren worlds were populated by superior advanced beings of high intelligence and supreme power.
    Yet if you can’t puncture irrational faith with practical science, you can always try humour. Laugh, and the world laughs with you, as the saying goes, unless, perhaps, that world is Mars or Venus. Before long, tongues firmly in cheeks, bona fide astronomers were on King’s case, with some hilarious results. Pre-Brians May and Cox, they included Britain’s most popular TV stargazer. Enter Patrick Moore, the man with a comical plan.
    The mid 1950s were Ufology’s heyday. Translated into 12 languages, Flying Saucers Have Landed, by George Adamski and Desmond Leslie was a massive best seller. But it had the advantage of silvery saucers landing in a California desert, where the wise and likeable fantasist Adamski met with a blonde, jump-suited Abba-esque Venusian who communicated telepathically, and, oddly enough, with his footprints, casts of which George duly took.
After all, one should never go into a desert without a bag of plaster of Paris. What Britain needed was its own Adamski, and proof that the long-haired blonde aliens didn’t mind a touch of good old British fog and drizzle. So, as George King was dealing with his new role as dictated from Venus and Mars, in London the publishers Frederick Muller got on the Adamski space wagon with an exciting scoop, Flying Saucer from Mars by Cedric Allingham.
     Mr. Allingham opened with a run-down of what UFO literature existed at the time, then launched into his captivating story of his close encounter of the third kind. He’d been ambling peacefully along in a remote corner of Scotland when a flying saucer landed close by. Out stepped the pilot, and Allingham engaged him in conversation, using sign language. It transpired that the Highland-hopping space jockey was a Martian.
As with Adamski and Leslie’s offering, Flying Saucer from Mars had a collection of photographs, which, unfortunately, weren’t up to Californian standards. The pictures, bearing similarities to Adamski’s, were out of focus, and one blurry shot showed the ufonaut walking away, with his craft out of the frame. The saucer had the characteristic dome, but this had what looked like a radio aerial vertically poking from it, (or, as some sceptics suggested, a wire to suspend it from). Never the less, we had a UK close encounter, and whereas Allingham’s writing style lacked some of Desmond Leslie’s florid flow, the writing was good enough and the story drew the attention of the press.

   However, Cedric Allingham seemed to be a bit of a mystery man. The science correspondent for the Sunday Express, Robert Chapman, was keen to interview the author, yet no one was able to track him down. Yet he did make one public appearance. It took place at a UFO club in Tunbridge Wells. The chairman of the club was none other than one of ufology’s favourite pillars of authenticity, a true believer, Air Chief Marshal Lord Dowding. Dowding was at Allingham’s one and only talk, and sitting alongside him was the man who had tutored the air chief’s stepson; astronomer Patrick Moore. Anyone present at that talk was privileged, because Allingham vanished into history when it was reported that he had died from tuberculosis in a Swiss sanatorium.
  
Robert Chapman did not believe this. He thought there was something fishy about the project, saying:
      “In my view, there is a strong likelihood that ‘Cedric Allingham’ is alive, in excellent health and far from repentant at having pulled a fast one on thousands of credulous saucerers.”But who was Cedric Allingham?
 In his book[ii]A Directory of Discarded Ideas, John Grant wrote:
     “I have good reason to believe that Allingham’s Flying Saucer From Marswas in fact written by a well-known astronomer . . . but have been sworn to secrecy.”  Years later, in 1985, Steuart Campbell and Christopher Allan, a pair of UFO sceptics, had similar thoughts and decided to do some digging. They concluded that ‘Allingham’ at least knew his astronomy, appearing familiar with the works of astronomers like H. Percy Wilkins and Patrick Moore.  He had obviously read the Journals of both the British Astronomical Association and the British Interplanetary Society, neither of which graced the shelves of W. H. Smith. So they checked the membership lists of the BIS and the BAA.  No Allingham.
   Oddly enough, Allingham’s name did crop up several times in various works by Patrick Moore. Considering Moore’s disdain for anything connected with UFOs, this seemed odd. A further revelation emerged. A journalist from Oxted in Surrey, Peter Davies, had been engaged to add a little semantic polish to one of Patrick Moore’s early books. Moore was living not far away in East Grinstead. The photographs in Flying Saucer from Mars include one of ‘Allingham’ standing by a telescope in a leafy garden.
The garden - in East Grinstead  - and the telescope, were Patrick Moore’s, and the man posing as Allingham is, in fact, Peter Davies, wearing the same disguise he used at the Tunbridge Wells UFO club; a false mustache, horn rimmed glasses - and a false nose. The mercurial Moore never owned up to what seems to have most certainly been a literary hoax, and whatever secret he had he took it with him to the grave. He did issue a warning to anyone accusing him of writing Flying Saucer from Mars that he would sue. Yet he never did. But although Britain’s favourite TV astronomer may have been laughing up his sleeve at Adamski and Leslie with this stunt, his irrepressible pursuit of a jokey hoax was far from quelled. Which will eventually lead us back to Dr. George King, but not before we enjoy a reminder of how Adamski and Leslie were themselves hoaxed in their own blockbuster UFO book.As a softening-up process, a tasty entree to prepare the reader for George Adamski’s main course, Leslie’s quasi-academic style was fairly compelling, although had he been more scientifically rigorous in his research he might well have saved some embarrassment. A good example of his scatter-gun approach was his inclusion of what had become a favourite “ancient UFO” story among the growing celestial crockery brigade. This was the Ampleforth Abbey sighting, said to have occurred way back in 1290. Leslie aims at authenticity by quoting the “original” text from the old monks in Latin, then gives a translation in English. He gives credit for the supply of this edifying nugget to a man with a name one might only expect to see in a black-and-white 1940s British public information film – Mr A. X. Chumley. It tells the story of two Ampleforth monks, Wilfred and John, and their abbot, Henry. They are roasting sheep when the crucial line of the Ampleforth Latin appears, with the sudden announcement: “res grandis, circumcularis argenta, disco quodum had dissimilis” (“Lo! A large round silver thing like a disk flew slowly over them”).
In his assessment for the Condon Report on UFOs for the University of Colorado, Samuel Rosenberg goes into some detail with his incisive dissection of ancient UFO sightings. For example, the Ampleforth Abbey “sighting” morphs bizarrely into the “Byland Abbey Sighting” as subsequent, post-Adamski authors clamber on to the gravy train. Whoever Mr A. X. Chumley was, he certainly had a sense of humour, for as the archivist at Ampleforth would have told Leslie (had he bothered to check the story), the “large round silver thing like a disk” and the rest of the “monks roasting a sheep” yarn turns out to be a joke perpetrated in a letter to The Times on 9 February 1953 – in a scurrilous communication sent in by two Ampleforth schoolboys. They made it all up[iii]. Talking of cod Latin inscriptions, Patrick Moore often mentioned a Roman urn on display in a museum, the location of which he never revealed, but he liked to tell us it bore the inscription
Iti sapis potitis andantino ne.
To get a handle on Moore’s impish sense of fun, just try moving the letters around and you’ll soon realise what a wag he was.
   So, UK saucers duly ridiculed, it was time to boldly go where no hoaxer had yet gone, into the peace-loving corral of the Aetherius Society. Once George had his organisation up and running, the Society's journal, Cosmic Voice became essential reading for adepts. In 1957, a series of articles appeared in the journal, all submitted by eminent scientists and physicists from various countries and institutions.  It seemed to readers, and King himself, that the interplanetary communications were being taken seriously. The lofty proclamations channelled through him from Master Aetherius, Mars Sector 6 and Saint Goo-ling (not forgetting Jesus) were having some positive effect, because these academic contributors were taking notice. Mainly foreigners, they had unusual names. They included the eminent astronomy lecturer Dr. Walter Wumpe, PhD., D.Sc., F.R.A.P.C., reporting on the Geophysical Year Programme. Other top academic names lining up to add kudos to Cosmic Voice were Dr. Dominic Fidler, Professor Huttle-Glank[iv],  other pillars of scientific academia including N. Ormuss, L Pullar, R. T. Fischall, E. Ratic, Dr. Hotère, Dr. Lupi, and Dr. Waathervan. Completing this list was a certain Egon Spünraas (remember him?) and two Dutch physicists, Drs. Houla and Huiezenass.
     Step forward the cool voice of spirituality, the cult-watching newspaper Psychic Weekly. The paper’s sense of humour was not as overcooked as that of the Master Aetherius - it was still medium rare enough to spot a cosmic joke in all its glory. John Grant’s Directory relates that “when it was rather publicly pointed out to King, in the newspaper Psychic Weekly, that he was perhaps the victim of an L. Pullar, he furiously cracked down on such spurious contributions to knowledge - accusing the British astronomer Patrick Moore, among others, of being the perpetrator of the hoax”.[v]  No doubt Patrick, sides splitting, was polishing his monocle in glee.
   Eventually plain old George King, Interplanetary Parliament Spokesman, needed to sound a little grander, so a Doctorate might do the trick. According to David Barrett, in A Brief Guide to Secret Religions[vi], King’s Doctorate came from "the International Theological Seminary of California, a degree mill with no accreditation." The Knighthood came later, (but not, it seems from Buckingham Palace). The Knighthood  was eventually bestowed on him by a certain Prince Robert M.N.G. Bassaraba de Brancovan-Khimchiachvili-Dadiani. The ‘Prince’, according to William Brynk of the New York Sun, “ran a bogus Order of St. John of Jerusalem, Knights of Malta from his faux-marble apartment (filled with equally genuine Louis XV furniture) at 116 Central Park South. If you had a passage fee, he had a gong for you, and hundreds of men and women with more money than sense each paid him up to $30,000 for his phony knighthoods.Prince Robert styled himself an "Imperial and Royal Highness." This is not bad: A Roman Catholic cardinal is merely an eminence. In a program for one of his ceremonies, held at Manhattan's Christ Church, he described himself as "Grand Master, Grand Chancellor, Grand Bailiff, and Grand Prior of the Knights of Malta." This was a few years before the prince vanished after his 2001 indictment for wire fraud.”[vii]
     One would assume that Dr. (Sir) George King would have claimed all these expenses from the Interplanetary Parliament’s Bursary.
   Hoaxing the UFO[viii], paranormal and psychic community can be fun, yet as this writer can testify, it is dangerous ground. The borderline between an obsession or cult and religion is to say the least hazy. Tread on a true disciple’s toes and you’re in trouble. However forteans, even with our sense of humour intact, want to believe. The question is, however, what exactly is it we want to believe? One has to remember that in the UK, spiritualism is a bona fide religion. Yet ever since the days of Houdini, the hoax and the fraud remain as the sceptic’s weapons, and they are frequently wielded.
   A report by Matt Roper in the Daily Mirror, on 28 October 2005 exposed a few unwelcome revelations concerning the most over-the-top, melodramatic current medium of them all, Liverpool’s Derek Acorah. Dr. Ciaran O’Keeffe, lecturer in the paranormal at Liverpool’s Hope University, was drafted on to Acorah’s TV show Most Haunted as resident parapsychologist. Dr. O’Keeffe, in speaking out, was in danger of committing media suicide, but he believed viewers should be enlightened as to the real nature of Most Haunted. In an attempt to establish whether or not Acorah was acting deceitfully, Dr. O’Keeffe came up with a ruse which he prepared whilst the team were filming at Bodmin Jail (alternatively Bodmin Gaol), an old prison on the edge of Bodmin Moor in Cornwall. This historic building dates from 1779 and was closed in 1927. He invented a long-dead South African jailer called Kreed Kafer – an anagram of Derek Faker.

   “I wrote the name down and asked another member of the crew to mention it to Derek before filming. I honestly didn’t think Derek would take the bait. But during the filming he actually got possessed by my fictional character!”
O’Keeffe made up another non-existent character for the shoot at Prideaux Place, Cornwall. This time, it was the highwayman Rik Eedles – an anagram of Derek Lies. It didn’t take long for psychic Derek to begin talking to the fictional outlaw. These are just a couple of the hoaxes Acorah fell for. Dr O’Keeffe’s summing up was pretty devastating: “In my professional opinion we’re not dealing with a genuine medium … all we are seeing is showmanship and dramatics.”
   Doug and Dave’s bogus corn circles, YouTube awash with fake UFO footage, phoney ghosts, cold-reading mediums, all these are simply aggravating speed bumps on the fortean highway that takes us over the hill to give us a glimpse of those genuine unexplained mysteries which add zest to our lives.  Yet as the wily old Patrick Moore has demonstrated, there’s nothing wrong with pulling into a lay-by now and again for a good laugh.




[i]This version according to the late Dr. Christopher Evans, Cults of Unreason,Harrap, London 1973.
[ii]Grant, John, A Directory of Discarded Ideas  Ashgrove Press 1981, Corgi Edition 1983
[iii]For more on this comical prank, Anselm Cramer OSB, Archivist, Ampleforth Abbey, gives a good overview at http://ufophenomenon.weebly.com/byland-abbey.html  
[iv] Dr. Christopher Evans, in Cults of Unreason, Harrap, London 1973 tells us that Dr. Dominic Fidler’s article entitled Mescaline and Flying Saucers‘was challenged for scientific inaccuracies by a Professor Huttle-Glank.’
[v] Grant, John, A Directory of Discarded Ideas  Ashgrove Press 1981, Corgi Edition 1983
[vi]Barrett, David V. A Brief Guide to Secret Religions: A Complete Guide to Hermetic, Pagan and Esoteric Beliefs
Robinson, London 2011.
[vii]WILLIAM BRYK New York SunMen Who Would Be Kings (Or Knights, or Counts) June 15, 2005
[viii]For a classic case of UFO hoaxing, the Warminster Photographs, go to http://magonia.haaan.com/1976/experimental-ufo-hoaxing/  Experimental UFO Hoaxing. David Simpson





                                                                                                                                                   

TAMÁM SHUD

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The Bizarre Mystery of the Somerton Man

I remember walking through Somerton Park, a suburb of Adelaide in South Australia, back in the early 1960s. The mainly residential seaside suburb is home to the Somerton Park Beach, and whilst enjoying a cold beer there that hot day, I had no idea that this was the location of what remains as the most perplexing mystery in Australia’s criminal cold case records; the enduring enigma of the ‘Somerton Man’, or as they refer to him down under, the ‘Unknown Man’.

In an age of high-tech CSI, DNA and advanced forensic science, we like to think we’re pretty clever at solving murder cases. There’s usually a clear motive, a list of potential suspects soon builds up. Was it the wife/husband? Was there a girlfriend/boyfriend? A mugger, a robber? The starting point is usually the identification of the victim. Yet what happens when absolutely no-one knows whose body it is? This is a mystery laden down with curious clues, hints and false leads, none of which provide an explanation or a conclusion.
Perhaps no-one noticed the smartly dressed middle aged man who stepped from the Melbourne train at Adelaide station at 8.30 am on the morning of November 30th 1948. It had been a long journey. He bought a one-way ticket for the 10.50 am train to Henley Beach, but the ticket was never used. He was carrying a small brown suitcase which he deposited in the station’s left luggage room at around 11 am. At 11.15 am he bought a 7d (seven pence) bus ticket outside the station for a bus going to Somerton, but he got off somewhere along the route. Some researchers suggest that he alighted at Glenelg, close to the St. Leonard’s Hotel. Between 7pm and 8pm that night several witnesses claimed to have seen the man. He stopped somewhere to buy a pasty. This much is known so far. Now the mystery kicks in.
December 1st in southern Australia is regarded as the first day of Summer. It was warm on the evening of Tuesday November 30 when a couple decided to take a stroll along Somerton Beach. John Bain Lyons was a local jeweller and as he ambled along the sands in the direction of Glenelg with his wife at 7 pm, 20 yards away (18.22 m)   they spotted a smartly dressed man reclining on the sand, his head propped up against the sea wall. He seemed quite relaxed with his legs outstretched and crossed. Mr Lyons had the impression that the man might be drunk, as the reclining figure lifted up his right arm which then fell back down. It seemed as if he may have been attempting to light a cigarette, but abandoned the idea.
The beach where the body was discovered, propped up on the rocks.

Half an hour later, a young couple were out for a walk along the Esplanade, and they had a view of the beach from above, and the reclining figure was still there with his left arm laid out across the sand. His shoes were clean and well-polished, his suit looked immaculate, yet it seemed an odd sartorial choice as beachwear. He appeared to be sleeping, but with a swarm of mosquitos around his face, inspiring the young man to comment “He must be dead to the world not to notice them…”


But the man on the beach was in the deepest sleep of all. He was dead. The following morning, when the jeweller John Lyons emerged from the sea after a cooling swim, he was joined by two men and a horse as they gathered around the dead man, still in the same position as Lyons had seen him the night before, legs crossed and outstretched. There was an un-smoked cigarette behind his ear, and a half smoked stub resting on his collar. There were no signs of violence.
Three hours later the body was taken to the  Royal Adelaide Hospital, where Dr. John Barkley Bennett estimated the man had died, possibly from heart failure, at around 2 am. There was a dramatic twist, when the Doctor announced that he suspected the man had been poisoned. The dead man’s pockets were emptied but did not reveal much. To begin with he had no cash or wallet. What was found were two combs, a box of matches, a pack of chewing gum, a pack of Army Club cigarettes and seven Kensitas cigarettes. But there was another puzzle. Any maker’s name labels or tags in his clothing had been carefully cut away, and one of his trouser pockets had been stitched with orange thread.
A contemporary press report
The police had no leads as to the corpse’s identity. The local press reported that the man found on the beach was ‘E. C. Johnson’, but Johnson turned up alive on December 3rd[1]. A full autopsy and a post mortem were carried out. John Dwyer, the pathologist, found a quantity of blood mixed with the remains of the pasty in the man’s stomach. Further examination revealed the dead man had unusually small pupils, his liver was distended with congested blood, and the spleen was three times normal size. With these results, suspicions of poisoning arose. Yet no cause of death was found, and expert chemical analysis on the man’s organs revealed nothing. So who was this dead man? At the subsequent Coroner’s inquest, the evidence of one expert, who had inspected the man’s legs and feet, suggested his well-developed calf muscles and oddly shaped, pointed feet hinted that this man may have even been a ballet dancer.  The cadaver was preserved with formalin and a cast was made of his bust for future examination. The corpse’s fingerprints were taken and circulated around the world, but with no result.
Christmas 1948 came and went with the Unknown Man resting in the morgue. Then, in January 1949, the suitcase he had left at the railway station was discovered. When police opened it, the mystery deepened. There was a reel of orange thread. Of the few items of clothing, the name tags had been removed, but on three the name ‘Kean’ and ‘Keane’ remained. There was a stencil kit, the kind of thing used to stencil names on packing crates, a coat, stitched with a peculiar feather stitching, and a table knife with the shaft cut down, and six pence. Although the names ‘Kean’ and ‘Keane’ looked like good leads, the police could trace no-one, and the local press suggested that the labels were deliberately left as red herrings. Once again the investigation was stalled.
But the strangest evidence, which would give this case its mysterious title, came when the Emeritus Professor of Pathology at the University of Adelaide, John Cleland, was brought in during April 1949 to examine the corpse. Sewn into the waistband of the trousers was what has been referred to as ‘a secret pocket’. It contained a tightly rolled, small piece of paper bearing the printed words, ‘Tamám Shud’.  A reporter for the Adelaide Advertiser, Frank Kennedy, recognised the words as Persian. They were from a popular work written in the 12th century, The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám. The two words come at the very end of the English translation by Edward Fitzgerald of this popular book of poetry, after the final verse, and mean, literally, ‘It is over’. The slip of paper appeared to have been torn from a book, and the seemingly fruitless hunt for the original copy began. The police began to suggest that this may have been a suicide. But there was much more yet to come.
The final words of this famous book are TAMÁM SHUD; 'it is ended'.
In June 1949 the body was buried in a plot of dry ground and sealed under concrete, a precaution in case it needed future exhumation. On July 23 a man from the Glenelg area visited the Adelaide Police station and presented a a very rare first edition copy of Edward FitzGerald's translation of The Rubáiyát of Omar Khayyám published in 1859 by Whitcombe and Tombs in New Zealand.. His odd story was that the book had been tossed into the back seat of his car by persons unknown. The torn extract matched the ripped space in the book. The identity of the man who found the book was kept secret, and has remained so.  In the back of the book police found five lines of letters written in pencil, and a telephone number. The number was that of a 27 year old nurse who had trained in Sydney's North Shore Hospital and now lived not far from where the body had been discovered.  Soon local media began to refer to the mysterious lines of letters as ‘code’. Was our man a spy?
Attention now focused on the new lead, the nurse. Her real name was Teresa Powell, but was referred to by the media as ‘Jestyn’. She appears to be as mysterious as the rest of the case, as her real name was not revealed until 2002. In 1949, when police interviewed her she gave a false surname, ‘Mrs. Thompson’, although it turns out that she wasn’t actually married. When shown the plaster cast of the deceased man’s bust, she thought that it might be a man she knew called Alf Boxall, yet wasn’t certain, although she claimed she once gave a copy of  The Rubáiyát to Boxall at the Clifton Gardens Hotel in Sydney in 1945 when he was serving as a lieutenant in the Water Transport Section of the Australian Army. Apparently she behaved very oddly when questioned, and almost fainted[2]. She need not have worried, because Boxall turned up, very much alive, and he brought his copy of  The Rubáiyát, a 1924 Sydney edition, with him. He knew nothing of the dead man and had no connection to him.
The extensive international publicity[3]rolled on as detectives around the globe investigated, but the man remains, to this day, unidentified. Yet as the Cold War developed, the attention focused on the possibility of poisoning, a favourite weapon in espionage circles,  and the strange ‘codes’ written in the back of The Rubáiyát.  The Adelaide coroner, Thomas Cleland, was informed by an eminent professor, Sir Cedric Stanton Hicks[4]that it was possible that a very rare poison had been used which would have decomposed ‘very early after death’. When Hicks appeared at the court hearing, he stated that the poisons he had in mind were so deadly and secret that he would not speak their names out loud, so jotted them down on a slip of paper and passed them to the coroner. They were digitalis and strophanthin. Hicks suggested the latter as the culprit. It originates from Ouabain, a Somali "arrow poison" which is also named g-strophanthin,  poisonous cardiac glycoside.Extracts containing Ouabain have long been used by Somali tribesmen to poison hunting arrows[5].
So, who was the Unknown Man and was he a spy? At Woomera, they were testing missiles and gathering intelligence. Our man died in Adelaide, which is the closest Australian city  to Woomera. Many see this as a connection. It is also possible that he caught his train at Port Augusta, which is much closer to Woomera. Then there is the bizarre pencilled ‘code’ in the back of The Rubáiyát. What does it mean?

WRGOABABD
MLIAOI
WTBIMPANETP
MLIABOAIAQC
ITTMTSAMSTGAB

Code specialists around the world, including some of the best intelligence experts, even astrologers, have been wrestling with these random characters for decades, so far, without success.  
There is still an aura of uncertainty around the nurse, ‘Justyn’ and her relationship with Alf Boxall. It seems that Boxall’s army career may also have involved military intelligence. Justyn died in 2007 and some believe that her real name was kept under wraps as it (or perhaps even her nickname) may have been a key to decryption of the ‘code’. Also, according to a 1978 TV documentary[6], when she gave Boxall her copy of The Rubáiyát she had written out verse 70:

Indeed, indeed, Repentance oft before
I swore—but was I sober when I swore?
And then and then came Spring, and Rose-in-hand
My thread-bare Penitence a-pieces tore.

 Just a young, romantic gesture - or something more cryptic?
In 1947, the year before the mystery man alighted in Adelaide, the United States Army's Signal Intelligence Service was carrying out Operation Venona, during which they discovered that the Soviet embassy in Canberra had been in receipt of top secret information leaked from Australia's Department of External Affairs. In 1948 U.S. banned the transfer of all classified information to Australia. Spies would have had to work much harder that year.
The more you dig into the murky undergrowth of Tamám Shud the denser the tangled roots become. For example, three years prior to the death of the ‘Unknown Man’ the body of Joseph (George) Saul Haim Marshall, a 34 year old from Singapore, was found in Ashton Park, Mosman, Sydney in 1945, with an open copy of the The Rubáiyát (reported as a seventh edition by publishers Methuen) laid on his chest.
Ashton Park, Sydney
It was recorded that he’d committed suicide by poison. However, Methuen only issued 5 editions of The Rubáiyát, so either this was a reporting error or a copy of the NZ Whitcombe and Tombs edition. It may be some kind of synchronicity or simple loose association, but a quick look on Google Earth reveals that Sydney’s Ashton Park is a short walk from Clifton Gardens. It was in Clifton Gardens, just two months after the dead Marshall was found with a copy on his chest that Jestyn gave Alfred Boxall a copy of The Rubáiyát. So who was Joseph (George) Saul Haim Marshall? It transpires that his brother was the famous barrister and Chief Minister of Singapore David Saul Marshall. Joseph Marshall’s inquest was held on August 151945. A woman testified at the inquest. She was Gwenneth Dorothy Graham. Within a fortnight of testifying,  she was found naked and dead in a bath face down, with her wrists slit.
Omar Khayyám seems to have had a lot to answer for.
Also in 1949, as the Adelaide police were still scratching their heads over the Unknown Man, at Largs North, just 12 miles (20km) along the beach from Somerton, where he’d been found, another bizarre case unfolded. A two-year old boy named Clive Mangnoson was found dead, his body in a sack, on 6 June 1949. It was established that the child had been dead for 24 hours. Keith Waldemar Mangnoson, his unconscious father, was lying alongside him. The man was taken to hospital suffering from exposure and weakness, then ended up in a mental institution. Father and son had been missing for four days. It gets even weirder; the two were discovered by Neil McRae, who said he had established their location in a dream the previous night. As with the Unknown Man, the coroner did not believe the boy had died from natural causes.
Then came the revelation by the boy's mother, Roma Mangnoson, that she’d been threatened by a masked man who almost ran her down outside her house in Largs North’s Cheapside Street. The man was driving a battered, cream coloured car, saying that "the car stopped and a man with a khaki handkerchief over his face told me to 'keep away from the police’ or else.'" She believed this to be connected with the fact that her husband had been to identify the Unknown Man at Somerton, who he believed to be someone he had worked with in 1939 named Carl Thompsen. Local dignitaries, including the mayor of Port Adelaide, A. H. Curtis, and J. M. Gower, the Secretary of the Largs North Progress Association received some strange, anonymous phone calls, threatening an ‘accident’ should they ‘stick their nose into the Magnonson affair’. The distraught Mrs. Magnonson was so affected by her meetings with the police that she required subsequent medical attention.
South Australia’s Major Crime Task Force still regard this as an open case. The Unknown Man’s bust is held by The South Australian Police Historical Society, and it contains strands of the man's hair. Unfortunately, after being embalmed the chemicals used may have destroyed much of the DNA. In any case, a recent request to exhume the body was refused. Witness statements appear to have disappeared from police files, and the suitcase found at Adelaide Station and its contents were destroyed in 1986. There have been approaches from people in Eastern Europe who believe the Somerton man might be one of many missing from the area during the Cold War. But it looks as if we may never know who he was and how he came to die on that beach. So let’s give the last word to our 12th century Persian poet, Omar Khayyám;
‘They change and perish all - but He remains…’ Tamám Shud; ‘It is ended.’


FURTHER READING:
ON LINE: As this is an Internet cause célèbre with dozens of links a simple Google of Tamam Shud will give you all you need.
BOOKS:
Feltus, Gerald MichaelThe Unknown Man, Klemzig, South Australia, 2010, ISBN 978-0-646-54476-2.
Greenwood, KerryTamam Shud - The Somerton Man Mystery, University of New South Wales Publishing, 2013 ISBN 978-1742233505
Stephen Kingfrequently refers to this case in his novel The Colorado Kid, which in turn inspired the series Haven.
Notes:




[1] By early February 1949, there had been eight different "positive" identifications of the body. Some thought it was a missing stablehand and two men from Darwin thought the corpse was of a friend of theirs, and others suggested he was  a sailor or a Swedish man. Police from Victoria suggested the man was from their state, as his the laundry marks were similar to those of dry-cleaning firms in Melbourne. Following publication of the man's photograph in Victoria, 28 people claimed they knew his identity.
[2] Retired detective Gerald Feltus interviewed Jestyn in 2002 and found her to be either "evasive" or "just did not wish to talk about it," He agreed not to disclose her identity or anything that might reveal it. Feltus believes that Jestyn knew the Somerton man's identity.
[3]http://trove.nla.gov.au/newspaper/result?l-publictag=Taman+Shud  this site offers a selection of press coverage on the case.
[4]Often mis-named as ‘Stanford Hicks’, Sir Cedric Stanton Hicks came to Adelaide in 1926 after an outstanding student career at the University of Otago in New Zealand, war service and a research studentship at Cambridge. He was appointed Professor of Human Physiology and Pharmacology from 1927, a position he retained until 1958 when he became Emeritus Professor. He was knighted in 1936 for his services to medical science.
[5] A sufficiently concentrated quabain dart can fell a Hippopotamus causing respiratory and/or cardiac arrest. Only one creature is immune to its effects; the Galapagos Tortoise.
[6]Inside Story, presented by Stuart Littlemore, ABC TV, 1978.






WHAT'S THE POINT OF IT ALL?

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R.I.P. BLOGGING


I have just deleted 170 posts going all the way back to 2010. In some strange way, it felt good. Wiping away all the conceited drivel and opinionated trash written with that one aim in mind; self-aggrandizement. You like to think that, because you're a writer, what you have to say might be looked at by strangers who would consider 'following' your wild, ill-advised expeditions into politics and literary self-pity. But what is blogging other than 'showing off', like some cyber pub bar bore or know-it-all barrack room lawyer. Time to shut up shop. The dispossessed have deserted any hope of progress.
The rancid tumor of introverted greed has triumphed over the body politic.
So the Britain I imagined I knew turns out to be nothing more than a chimera, a vapid cloud of dead spirits. For 55 years I believed in equality, fairness, in an egalitarian notion of our shared humanity and compassion. 
May 7 2015 has eradicated all that. 
Who needs such outmoded guff.
The things I once believed in share the same historical shelf as the ideas of the Flat Earth Society and Creationism. So why bother wasting time with the catalogue of self-regarding emotional out-pourings which have crammed the many pages of this blog for five years? 
To hell with England. To hell with expression.
What's the point of it all?

Hyenas and Donkeys

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The Irresistible Breaking of Silence
Donkeys and Hyenas
 
Mmmm! Britain ... was there ever a tastier corpse?
It’s Monday morning, May 18 2015. It’s raining, windy and chilly, and Wilkinsons, the household and hardware store, have just thrust a colourful ‘summery’ booklet through our letter box advertising barbecue equipment and garden furniture. Being the burned out, cynical old bastard that I am I can’t help but find this annual mantra of ‘Summer’, emanating from the vacuous marketing minds of ad agencies, utterly laughable. Yet another plastic corporate façade, erected between reality and capital’s colourful imagination. But there’s more to my cantankerous grumpiness this wet May morning than anachronistic parasols and damp bags of charcoal.
    Even writing this I am breaking my own pledge to cease all comment on the parlous state of my country, the so-called ‘United Kingdom’. Yet unfortunately, like an addict, I need this semantic purgative to be able to keep a grip. Without this unburdening in a form of words, I feel as if my head, or even more melodramatically, my soul, will continue to fill with rage, expanding to the point of paroxysm. I have no idea if anyone reads this. I’m past caring. Who the hell do I think I am anyway? Some obscure, fat old scribe in his 70s who writes for a living. Neither rich nor with any scintilla of  that which the young world craves, ‘fame’, I none the less continue to project my bile into the ether, my words echoing in an empty chamber like an old, cracked shellac gramophone record.

That's it, lads, build it and he will come. And we'll all go. 

    Some writers, and I like to think of myself in this way, are like bricklayers. The walls we leave behind contain the chipped bricks of our trade. I often look at the exterior walls of this house, built in 1906.
How much did they pay you? Was it in bullets?
Whose trowel laid that mortar?  In which part of some ‘foreign field that is forever England’ do his bones lie? How much was he paid to lay these sturdy, endurable walls? Did he have children? Was he a trade unionist? Did he volunteer to give his life for that same  thoughtless imperialist, capitalist mind-set which demands of its underlings that they should die for the land of their birth even though, unlike their masters, they own not a square foot of soil? Well, my imaginary bricklayer probably owns six feet of soil now, albeit French of Turkish.

   And here we are, over a century later, no longer lions led by donkeys, but donkeys led by hyenas. All the philosophy of progress, all the noble hope of communal mutual respect reduced to a few glib soundbites like ‘Big Society’ and ‘In it together’. Indeed, Trotsky’s ‘dustbin of history’ is full to overflowing. The cunning misanthropic minds of a self-serving international cartel, obsessed with only two dogmas, profit and increasing wealth, have scattered the carcinogenic spores of their vile inhumanity through the ranks of what was once called ‘the People’ with huge success. All talk of equality, fairness and social cohesion is off limits. The bamboozled British have succumbed to the shimmering glitter of greed, goaded like sheep into capital’s abattoir by the threatening, sharpened bayonets of nationalistic fear. Yet although this evil is all around us, in our news media, on the radio, in countless duplicitous  TV adverts for health insurance, funeral insurance and pay day loans, the blinkers attached to the nation’s frozen eyes have become immovable.

I refuse to wear them. Thus I row my leaky moral boat with its rotting paddle on a dark landless sea of excreta, a peg on my nose, scanning the bleak horizon searching for like minds. I seem to have spent my life waiting for something which isn’t going to happen. I’ll not say what that is, because it would seem like an alien concept in a new world of selfishness. So perhaps it’s true; the rest of my country is sane and I’ve gone mad. Maybe, after all, I must accept that following your heart can mean losing your mind.

INKY BRITAIN

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The fraternity of the inked: A fine brace of  'individuals' pictured here. You're in such good company with a tattoo. Loving that neck disfigurement, and the good-looking bloke in the cap showing us how much he loves  Auschwitz with his 'Arbeit Macht Frei', along with his anger that we bombed Dresden, and the curious German word for 'Betrayal'. Sieg Heil lads! See you in Tesco, Friday night?


INKY BRITAIN: 

A NATION OF 'INDIVIDUALS'. 

This is guaranteed to be unpopular. In today’s skewed social climate, although I hate to admit it, I’m in danger of coming on like an embittered Mary Whitehouse. But these festering views have bubbled to the surface of a cauldron of grumpy world-weariness, and can no longer remain hidden. Picture this:
      It’s Friday night, we’re shopping in Tesco. It is cold and wet outside, but surprisingly, that does not deter a large percentage of trolley-pushing shoppers tonight, because bare-legged and naked-shouldered they are wearing either singlets or shorts, (in some cases, both) no matter what the season. There is a peculiar reason for this stubborn behaviour. They want us to see their tattoos. Indecipherable barbed Celtic swirls, wreathed skulls and daggers, intertwining roses, Chinese ‘good luck’ characters, the whole of the tattoo parlour’s expanding catalogue can be found here in green-grey bovine motion, shuffling along between the baked beans and reduced El Paso Fajita kits. For all I know, they might be nice people. But they wear a badge which makes me shudder and separates me from their incomprehensible world.   
   Feeling unease (or, in my case, revulsion) about tattoos will today render you liable to accusations of snobbery. So be it. I shall wear my bourgeois, ink-free pompous outrage with shining pride and an empty expanse of pristine flesh.
   My late father was the original illustrated man. The had the flags of the Empire on his back,  a lion and a tiger on his chest, snakes coiling around his long, muscular arms, their sinister heads always visible poking from his shirt cuffs. As an orphan, he had joined the army as a drummer boy in his teens the 1930s. During over a decade in India, like many of the lower ranks, he used his vacant skin as a pictorial souvenir album. Tattoos then were the passport stamps of the common man, men like sailors or soldiers, those more adventurous working class youths who would never have seen the exotic wider world had they not chosen to take the King’s shilling, or sign a ship’s articles. Therefore, when I was a boy, tattoos seen on a middle aged man presented an enigmatic glimpse into an outlandish existence beyond the restrictions of British social life.
Very nice. Gets a bit cold in winter, though, having to walk about like this.
   But that concept is long gone. This foul, spreading stain has crept over the nation’s flesh like some unstoppable alien spore. Even the once lithe limbs of formerly attractive (even intelligent) young women have been permanently daubed with this dumb physical graffiti, and all in the name of that most vacuous fluctuating vogue - fashion. Yet, smudged casualties, consider the following imaginary scenario.
    In my lifetime male fashions have changed with the seasons. The post war years saw the invention of fashion for the lower classes. Prior to the 1950s there was no such being as what the free market would eventually designate as the ‘teenager’. Take a look at any photograph of a football crowd up to 1950 and you will see young people in their thousands, all carbon copies of their de-mobbed fathers. Flat caps and shapeless jackets and trousers. The odd daring trilby or muffler, or a scarf poking from the lapels of a tightly-belted gabardine mac. Well-polished boots and shoes.


Once Capital had decided horny-handed youth might have its own disposable income, we became Teddy Boys. Drape jackets, suede brothel creepers, fluorescent socks, 16 inch drainpipe pants and bootlace ties. Then we discovered denim. As the hippie dream of peace and love faded in the 1970s, fashion turned into clumsy stupidity with stack heels, totally laughable loon pants and Afro perms. This clown-like sartorial ugliness reached its apogee in the tartan absurdity of the chart-topping Bay City Rollers. Yet let us imagine, therefore, if the laws of nature had decreed that those half-mast pants, orthopaedic footwear and silly jackets would remain permanently on our backs. What if you were doomed to look like that forever, as if the shoulder-padded 80s never happened, if Adam Ant’s tribal uniforms and those of punk were only a dream, and as you grew older and fatter, you were forced to stand in front of the mirror every day at a sad reflection of a 1970s  Les McKeown, muttering to yourself “God, please change this!”

Imagine having to dress like this for the rest of your life. It would be like the clothes
had been tattooed on you ...
    Thus, we’re back at the fashion disaster of tattoos. You can take your clothes off. But that green-grey smudge you paid all that money for? Better get used to it. Britain is now the most tattooed nation in Europe. Half a century ago, tattoos were a bit of a hidden low-rent joke, the province of Popeye the Sailor Man, old soldiers or distant tribes in the South Seas, where they served the primitive social purpose of showing your allegiance to your particular tribe, as with the Maoris in New Zealand. So to which ‘tribe’ does the inked estate agent or the otherwise attractive girl on the check-out at Sainsbury’s belong? What will that silly Cantonese martial arts scrawl represent on your wrinkled legs or sagging breasts when you’re 75 and propped up on your zimmer frame? What has possessed the educated, the seemingly intelligent, even the Prime Minister’s wife to allow themselves to be defaced?
Had biology selected me to have a body like David Beckham’s, would  I have chosen to ruin that Godly physique with a bloody blur of inky needlings? If, as a woman, you were blessed with a pert derriere like Cheryl Cole, would you pay thousands to have it all permanently smeared with the pages of some hideous garden catalogue?
How to make a complete arse of yourself.
Will our as yet unborn grandchildren, visiting us in our Richard Branson Virgin Care Homes gaze in puzzlement at those smudgy swallows flying up Granny’s ankles and exclaim “What were you thinking of?” Ah, so you wanted to be an ‘individual’? Then remember this quote from one of your heroes, the Prince of Dumbness, Ozzy Osborne: "If you want to be an individual, don't get a tattoo. Every bugger's got one these days."
 
The Prince of Dumbness displays his inkings
     As fast as this blight spreads, like a plague of blue-green cockroaches over the nation’s skin, an alternative wave of victims has seen the error of their inkings and there is now a profitable growth in tattoo removal clinics. Thankfully, this is not a ‘service’ available on the cash-strapped NHS (although once it’s been privatised, the clinics will be there, right next door to Costa Coffee and Burger King). So have your credit cards and Wonga loans ready.
Private prices for tattoo removal start from approximately £50 to £300 per session, with total cost running from a few hundred pounds for very small, blue/black tattoos, to many thousands for large multi-coloured tattoos. Multiple treatment sessions will be required, and beware - a tattoo artist might only need a GCSE in art to spread permanent graphic ruin on your pristine skin, but you’d better make sure someone in a white coat wielding a powerful laser is a bit more qualified than a trainee sign writer.


     As a young Merchant seaman, one drunken night in Valetta, Malta in 1960 I sat in the tattooist’s chair waiting to have an anchor painfully scrawled on my arm. In the second chair alongside me sat a huge US Navy sailor. He removed his shirt ready for another addition to his pictorial portfolio. I sat drop-jawed at the messy scattering of flowers, hearts, roses and crucifixes and suddenly, looking at my pale empty arm, my humanity overtook me. I rolled my sleeve down and left. I’m glad I did. I don’t have an attractive body, but still, at 72, it remains saggy but unsullied. I’m proud to have avoided the vandalism of what today is erroneously regarded by many as ‘body art’. I may not be an ‘individual’, nor am I windswept and interesting, but when my skin begins to crisp in the crematorium fire, it won’t bear any marks of what passes for ‘culture’ in 21st century Britain.  

Don't forget, chaps - I was a real 'individual' back in 2015!

Anger is an Energy

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BLOGGING:

 I SAID THERE WAS NO POINT TO IT ALL.
But 'Anger is an Energy' - John Lydon.

Getting over May 7th I feel like some drunk in a pub who's looking for a punch-up over an insult to my wife whilst she pulls at my sleeve yelling 'Leave it, love, he ain't worth it!'.  Like a coward I walked away under the heavy burden of defeat and disappointment, wondering why I'd wasted most of my life kicking against the ever-growing concrete wall of apathy which has imprisoned British common sense. Politics for some of us is like smoking and drinking. I've given up neither, so if there's a triumvirate of self-abusing occupations, then the third, political expression, has been missing. In short, I can't shut up. 
I know that what I write here, unless it's something to do with unexplained phenomena, will only be read by, if I'm lucky, abut 20 people. I know who you are. Friends and acquaintances, fellow travelers,  people in the main of like mind. Fair enough. If those 20 people can radiate the outrage I feel among another 20 people, then perhaps the brief candle of  sanity might flicker on a little longer than the new Junta hopes. Yet I doubt it.

Liz Kendall poses outside number 10 with the regulation Blairsuit
she would wear in the unlikely event of her ever getting through the door.
The Death of the Labour Party

Amazing when we pause to think that the party born of such painful struggles and the sacrifices of men like Keir Hardie and Aneurin Bevan, the party which gave us new hope, the Welfare State and the NHS in 1945, should end up with only one clarion call to its name; 'Aspiration'. With this as their banner, they are already planning for their final cataclysmic defeat in 2020.
But why should I be bothered? I'll be 77 in May 2020. Since 1979, in any event, everything I believed in and campaigned for has been trashed. There are those who tell me "Just calm down, enjoy your dotage, chill out and forget the world. You're just a cantankerous old pensioner. Forget politics. It's over."
I know they're right. But like a gambler, I can't leave the table; I always imagine thet the next hand being dealt might be the winner. Stupid, yes, but until someone muzzles me I'll remain a rabid old dog.

Having already ditched the vaguest vestiges of that archaic idea 'socialism', having rebranded the franchise several times from 'New' Labour to the most recent, 'Tory Lite', by allowing its front line to be overtaken by over-educated metro-centric 'suits', Labour has backed itself into a political cul de sac  and there's no way out other than to call it a day. Even their title is an oxymoron. 'Labour'? When did Chukka Ummuna or Andy Burnham ever get their hands dirty? Which factory production line or supermarket checkout did the corporate-loving Liz Kendall ever work on? Yet now, as I write, she's front runner to replace the hapless, vanished and banished Ed Miliband. 

Facing Reality:
The Flat Earth Society = Socialist Beliefs.
So, as Joe Public has realised, why vote 'Labour' when 'Call me Dave' has offered something called 'Blue Collar Conservatism'? Why vote Labour, when a much more left-wing outfit called the Liberal Democrats have been sand-blasted away from the face of British politics? Any belief in Labour possessing any faint, dim embers of socialist thought equates to a belief in the Flat Earth theory, or a cream cheese moon.
No, let's get real: who needs the NHS? Not Britain, it seems. You can always pay for your operation with a Wonga loan, surely? Libraries? Let's turn them all into Starbucks and Costa Coffee shops. Let's have many more Mickey Mouse train companies and ever increasing fares. Give the bankers bigger bonuses for better criminality.  What's all this crap about a Human Rights Act? Who needs that - let the dullards eat zero hours and be happy on their shuffle to the food bank. The disabled? Tax the scrounging buggers! A spare room in your house? How dare you have one! 
Jesus wept, why are some of us still festering in volcanic anger? Because the lemmings have chosen the cliffs and a few if us are still hanging on by our blunt little claws.
Despair? thy name is Britain.

Wealth inequality in the UK

Any Spare Change, Guv?

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HOORAY FOR THE HOMEWORK CLUB -
BUT WHERE’S THE PROFIT IN THAT?


Anyone reading this who is unfamiliar with a town called Mansfield in the East Midlands may well find little in this broadside to concern them. Then again, if you live in Milton Keynes, Derby or Norwich, or any number of towns or cities labouring under the fluctuating mirage of David Cameron’s ‘Big Society’, you may still find points of empathy.
It’s here, in the austerity-hit, socially run-down East Midlands that you’ll find ordinary ‘hard working’ people (does it always have to be ‘hard’ - can’t we just ‘work’?) hanging on to the fraying strands of something called community spirit by engaging in projects such as the much-praised children’s homework club on Mansfield’s Bellamy Road Estate. The Bellamy estate is one of the most severely deprived wards in a town at the centre of  one of the most economically and socially deprived areas in the country in terms of educational performance, health and crime.   In such a needy area, this club is an invaluable service for local families and the community. But not for long. Because its sponsor, the YMCA, has suffered funding cuts, the club, and the Y5 Internet Café which hosts it, are to shut on June 24th. The effect on the morale of the 750 households on the estate will be terrible. There are charities which may take an interest, but the local residents are weary of the long drawn out, Byzantine processes of funding applications. And even if a charity steps in, by the time a decision is made, the Club and the Café will be long gone.


This club is about more than homework. It also provides a secure, supportive, hopeful and practical alternative to the less positive surrounding influences. By supporting the children to study, Hooray for Homework Club gives the local children a better chance of social mobility. The club’s safe, learning environment is assuring to local parents. Says one parent: “The kids love going and I am very pleased with the staff. It is the best thing we have ever had for the kids on this estate.”
Jayne has worked on the project since it began three years ago. After initial wariness from local families, she has seen the community embrace and welcome the project. She also observed its impact, particularly on the youngsters, such as Aisha.  A visitor to the club since she was five, Aisha was always getting into trouble. Hooray for Homework Club noticed her creativity and channelled it, and Aisha’s behaviour has improved vastly. Her behaviour at home has improved too because she doesn’t want to miss a night at the club, where she produces some brilliant artwork. Some former members of the club, now at secondary school, return to it as volunteers. Jayne believes that “without the support and influence the homework club gave the children, they would not be at secondary school now and would be doing something much more negative with their lives.”
As Messrs Osborne and Cameron search for new ways to punish the poor and remove benefits, we’re looking back a century to see if the old, Dickensian style of benevolence might be resurrected. Maybe there’s a new Andrew Carnegie out there, wondering if he can offer a kind gesture with his spare millions.  It’s worth a try.
On January 1stthis year the Financial Timesrevealed that the top five banks - Goldman, Morgan Stanley, JP Morgan Chase Citigroup and Bank of America Merrill Lynch - paid out a whopping £1.3bn in wages and bonuses between them. Banking’s lucrative enough, but Advertising agency WPP’s chief executive Sir Martin Sorrell was paid almost £43m last year, so he’s the best paid boss of a British public company. His salary was £1.15m, increased by a long term £36m bonus and a £3.6m short-term bonus. Including pension payments and other items, according to WPP’s annual report, Sorrell received a total of £42.98m. That’s an hourly rate, if he works a 40 hour week, of about £20k per hour. His pay was more than twice that of the second-best paid FTSE 100 chief executive, Ben van Beurden at Royal Dutch Shell, who received €24.2m (£17.5m). A less well-remunerated Goldman Sachs banker, Michael Sherwood, only earns a measly £6,250 per hour. Hard times indeed. Let’s hope he doesn’t have a spare bedroom.
So our message from Bellamy Road to the 20% of the UK population who now own 60% of the nation’s wealth is this; forget the so-called ‘politics of envy’. You’re rich, we’re poor, plus ça change, fair enough. On May 7 the nation gave you carte blanche to become even richer over the next decade. Your greatest desire, a corporate-friendly, City-centric government is now yours. The people of Bellamy Road don’t want Ferraris or swimming pools; but they would love to see their kids still able to go to the Homework Club on the way home from school. And what would it cost to keep it going for a few more months until we find more charity? A mere £10k plus. Just think of the kudos you’d get from such an act of generosity. And maybe even a tax break. But are there any pillars of public benevolence and compassion in this new unequal social landscape? We doubt it - but go on - prove us wrong.
We have yet to find out. And we’ve got just 21 days to find some money.

If you’re the one to help, contact Roy Bainton, editor of THE BELLAMY BUGLE, the newsletter of the Bellamy Road Estate. roybainton@hotmail.com
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